On a Roll

I haven't posted in a while. Matthew got a virus and he was diagnosed with an ear infection, and took a few doses of Amoxicillin before developing a whole body rash. (I was very wary of the antibiotic because of how it would affect his microbiome which is essential to pass foods). We took him back and was told there was no sign of an ear infection! The rash could have been a Penicillin allergy or a viral rash, but we'd have to test him for the allergy. We suspended our egg trial during the treatment and illness.

Then, we were invited to a few family parties. We attended 50% of them (an accomplishment for me as I tend to want to stay home due to my post-partum anxiety). Of course, they were both disasters. For the first, traffic was so severe just getting to the highway and some guy was being very aggressive with his car that hubby lost his temper. At the party, we barely had time to wolf down our food before having to leave, and I was paranoid about food proteins everywhere. It was a Bollywood theme, so we were really warm and had lots of layers of flowing fabric that got in the way with a struggling baby. That being said it was a nice occasion and I was happy to see my cousins (although some were, sadly, just arriving as we left).

At the next party, for my Godson's Christening, I actually fell down the stairs with Matthew in my arms - the very thing of which I have been so afraid! My hip/leg was purple for a week and I couldn't walk well for a few days. Matthew, apart from a small bruise on his knee and being scared, was unharmed. I have so much guilt about that fall and I apologized to Matthew, but it still haunts me.

As for our food trials, we've been very successful with everything we've trialed, passing some of the most feared FPIES items: egg, wheat and dairy! Tomorrow, we are going to take a leap to trial a store-bought item: bread! It has some additives, yeast and vegetable oil (canola and/or soy), so if he passes, we'll consider all those safe. Fingers crossed.

As Matthew approaches his first birthday, we're going to be taking his food for him to daycare, but I'm so nervous as to how he'll eat with someone else feeding him (since he still refuses to self-feed) and how he'll sleep in a new environment. These are normal fears, I suppose, but I feel like FPIES has made me hyper-vigilant about everything. The best way I can describe it, is that I feel traumatized by seeing him get sick, remembering him getting sick and stressed out every day when I try to prevent him from getting sick.